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Breaking the model

So many people, yet so few.
None of them are what you need, yet you don't know what is.
Tired of looking for something new.
I wish I were the one being looked for.

False escapades are many
They do the trick for a while
None of them get where I want to go
Where is that place or thing or person that will heal me?
I laugh cuz I know that is non existent.

Now I know that writing relieves my cup
As much as I want to continue writing,
self produced questions are not helpful
they are always of no use.
Rhetoric is not coming as easy.

There is no rhyme this time.
Pleasing is not what am about this time.
No 4 line paragraphs striving to look for matching words,
that is just so far fetched.

What is getting better?
Who or what defines it?
Should I be getting better?
Do I have the need to?