Breaking the model

So many people, yet so few.
None of them are what you need, yet you don't know what is.
Tired of looking for something new.
I wish I were the one being looked for.

False escapades are many
They do the trick for a while
None of them get where I want to go
Where is that place or thing or person that will heal me?
I laugh cuz I know that is non existent.

Now I know that writing relieves my cup
As much as I want to continue writing,
self produced questions are not helpful
they are always of no use.
Rhetoric is not coming as easy.

There is no rhyme this time.
Pleasing is not what am about this time.
No 4 line paragraphs striving to look for matching words,
that is just so far fetched.

What is getting better?
Who or what defines it?
Should I be getting better?
Do I have the need to?

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Blinking Light

I used to want no surprises
I'm the one who now chases
Yet, all I go through is mazes
Waiting to get rid of these laces

Life has become a set of games
Full of people with no names
Those are always empty spaces
That I wish for them to become faces

As a pole at sea I blink
Waiting for someone who wants to be my link
Dreaming for things not to stink
Wanting for things to be of mink

I have to get my act together
If not I'll be like this forever
I have to change now or never
Cuz I don't want things to mean just whatever

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Question Mark

My head is pounding like a hammer
I feel I just need to be calmer
Will I be able to hold much longer?
Or should I crawl back to my corner?

Everything moves so fast
Will I be always last?
Thinking always of the past
Wishing you were here at last.

Waves of sound hit my brain
Causing for it to feel pain
Is all of this in vain?
Or do I just have the wrong lane?

I feel am haywire
Like a car with a flat tire
Am I just a lier?
If so, who will light my fire?

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